Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! I'm currently sunburnt and sweating... surrounded by people who can't afford to buy Christmas presents... so it doesn't feel that Christmas-y to me. I just got done with my In Service Training, which reunited me with all of the other volunteers that I trained with the first three months. It was great to speak english again.. and to reconnect with new friends.. but also felt weird to be overwhelmed by american's. Its hard to explain. anyways.. I'm heading to my site for Christmas with three other volunteers. Then we are heading to the ocean for two days and finally to a peace corps vs malagasy baseball game. But, all I really want to do is to fly home for christmas. I'll try to fill my sorrow with the new fridge I bought... it can hold many cold fresh juices! well, I don't know what else to say without sounding too sad about not being with all of the people I love and care about during the holidays.. so I'll just close by saying that I love you and miss you all!!

Seasons and a wedding

I can't believe its the holiday season because it sure doesn't feel like it here. It is getting progressively hotter, and the rainy season is about to start. The fruit seasons have changed. Mangos and lychees are delicious and selling like hotcakes right now. I also had a first sighting of small peaches and plums, which will be coming into season soon. I'm absolutely LOVING every second of having fresh fruit everyday whenever I want it. the fruit juices are going to rot my teeth, but I feel as though its worth it for the time being. The tamarind and papaya juices and passion fruit juices are like none I have tasted in the States. So good. People make their own flavored rum here too. They just stick the fruit in it and let it sit for a month. Theres vanilla, strawberry, pineapple, banana, and even ginger flavored rum, and its really good with the fresh fruit juice.

Its the start of the cyclone season, so I'm a little worriedly anxious to experience my first cyclonic wind. plus I think the torrential downpours will be a sight to see. I've been warned to stock up on unperishables and to have at least a weeks worth of clean water if a cyclone warning has been issued. But thats a little hard to do considering there is only one store in my town that sells canned goods, and they are one weeks paycheck for a can of corn or mushrooms. Looks like rice and spaghetti noodles will have to do.

its weird to think that I have been so busy that I haven't had time to even think about being homesick or lonely. I guess thats a good thing? It also helps that I kinda sorta have a close friend of the boy persuasion. so, thats my malagasy indirect way of saying I'm hanging out with someone. Most malagasy people are extremely indirect and are taken aback by how forward many americans are... but as I am actually the worst person in the world to ever directly confront someone, I fit in perfectly. I understand exactly what they mean because it is how I would say it! ha. anyways.. so my "sipa". (sipa means person you are dating, but its nongendered. this langaguage is very cool because it doesn't gender things like english or the romance languages.) he's around my age (I will be 25 January 25th Golden birthday, whoot whoot!!). He grew up in a small town of about 400 people. He has a huge family, something that we have in common, and his parents still live in the little village. His mom is an elementary school teacher nearing retirement, and his dad is farmer. He went to university in the capital here in Madagascar, but wants to study more. He's super social and the smallest thing makes him happy. He is almost fluent in English and loves learning about my culture, but also deeply respects his own culture. Its fun learning and teaching each other about our lives. He lives 6 hours away though, so right now I see him about twice a month. As for now, he makes me happy. I met his entire family, including aunts and uncles when I went to his sisters engagement party two weekends ago. Its a malagasy tradition for the female to invite the males entire family to their village and throw a party for them. Cows or pigs are killed, and tons and tons of rice is eaten. There is a dinner, speeches, and a dance at night. before the dinner, the male's family waits in a tent-ish type makeshift building for the female to arrive. Before the bride-to-be goes in, they send in three other females to try to trick the groom-to-be. They walk up and he says whether its the right women or not. Its really funny to watch, and actually extremely hilarious to participate in. Of course, me being the spectacle there cuz I'm white, they sent me in as one of the three fake brides. I wish I could reenact the look of shock and laughter on everyones face as a "vazaha" total stranger walked into the tent acting as though I were going to be the future bride. They loved it, and of course I ate that attention up! ha! after that, everyone had to dance with me.. so of course I took turns with tons of people dancing until the next morning. (someone has to be dancing all night long or else the party isn't officially a party, seriously) I was drenched in sweat, covered in dust and loved every second of it!

Teacher's retreat

So I've been here for five months now, which is crazy. overall things have gone well and I have loved the experience. I just went on a teachers retreat, which was a beginning of the school year celebration... 3 months after the school year started. but here there is a saying.. fotoana gasy, which means.. gasy time.. because malagasy people are late for everything. the retreat was out in the countryside. there was no running water, and no place to sleep. I pushed two desks together and slept on top, with about an inch difference in their heights. well.. sleep isn't the word I should use.. but rather laid there all tired for eight hours. I only fell off of the "bed" twice though. ha. so during my attempt to sleep the other teachers made sure to follow the tradition of partying all night the night before an official ceremony. they drank and danced from 8pm until 5am where they then got up to make the breakfast rice. I can't even handle that kind of partying anymore.. anyways so the second day of the "retreat" involved five hours of waiting in the 95 degree scorching sun for the important people to come and then listening to a speech for three hours, watching a soccer game and then return to partying. the weirdest thing I've ever seen. But, OH the experience it entailed... Especially since the unsanitary conditions of the place it was held at lead to my first case of giardia. that was fun. I'm well now.. so no worries.. but it was not fun while it lasted. I'll spare you all the details. I'm glad that it at least wasn't a worm. that would be worse cuz you get to see it come out.. yuck. anyways..for now I am still teaching.. still learning... but actually am able to converse normally in the language. soon it will be thanksgiving.. and we are planning to have a dinner with all the volunteers around the lake area. so I will get a little taste of america.. even if it isn't a taste of pumpkin pie.

The ferrel dog problem

This is my once a week email checking... and I have a story that I MUST tell because it is so beyond belief!!

So, the city I live in wanted to do something to control the wild dog population. Evidently they don't listen to Bob Barker's advice. Anyways.. so their grand idea was to put poison in all of the city dumps, which are just piles along the street. BUT... they didn't have the funds for that, so instead they thought up a plan I like to call, "the master plan". They decided to let all of the prisoners out of jail for the day, arm them with clubs, and have them beat all of the wild dogs on the street they saw that day. Genious! I mean, thats free labor! What!! I could not even believe that someone thought of that idea, let alone had others agree with it and make it happen. All of the prisoners came back that afternoon and life was back to normal, with a few less dogs on the street.

Just when I thought I was getting used to this place.. they go and totally blow my mind again! ha! thought this would give you all a little chuckle.

Worst and best experience so far

So yesterday I had the worst and best experience thus far of my adventure here in madagascar, all in one day! In the morning I woke up to go teach at 7am and noticed that there was an assembly going on by the office of the school. All of the students were lined up outside, military style, listening to the Proviseur, head principal, give announcements. He said that the new stairs that were being built were almost finished, and that the people from a small island just off the coast of Madagascar, called Reunion, were going to play a basketball game against the teachers that afternoon. He then pointed at me and said I would be playing... and since I was an American that the other team was really scared of me because I am really good. Ha.. luckily, I actually know how to play. Then he had one of the older women teachers come up to the microphone and she called out a boy's name to come up to the top balcony. I thought he was going to be rewarded for something. But, instead he was pulled by the ear and then smacked across the head by the Proviseur. Evidently he had seen this teacher in the market, FAR FROM THE HIGH SCHOOL, and he had not said hi to her, or addressed her. Then they called out to the student crowd for the girl that was with him while he commited this act of disrespect. She shyly came up the stairs and the seemingly nice old lady wound up and slapped her across the face. This was in front of the entire school. I almost started crying. I was shocked, appauled, scared... and felt so bad for these students. I could not believe that they were hitting the students.. and for such a stupid reason. Imagine seeing one of your teachers outside of school, like at the grocery store and not saying hi, and getting to school the next day to be hit by the principal or that teacher. Its just crazy. People here think its ok to hit kids.. and they don’t understand why it upsets me so much. So after that I went to my class to teach.. and still shaken up I promised them that I would NEVER ever hit them.

That afternoon, I donned the school bball uniform and headed the outdoor court which is basically a big field of sand and dirt. The boundary lines were made of buried bricks and the hoops were just metal rigs attached to wooded backboards. The entire school was there to watch... I’m talking about 2500 students and 50 teachers. Probably the biggest crowd I”ve ever played in front of in my life. All of my students were there watching my every move. It was amazing though. Compared to them, I was Michael Jordan. As the only girl playing... I made sure to show that I could play the same or better than any male there to show the girls a little American gender equality! Ha! So, without braggin too much, I had a lot of assists, steals, and points, and I am now known as the basketball star in our school. Our team won easily and all of my students have a little more respect for me, which is kinda cool and kinda crazy. I am definitely settled here now and loving it, despite some of the things that are hard to understand culturally.

Peanut Butter?

So, I spent 3 hours making homemade peanut butter today. First I roasted the peanuts, then I shelled them individually by hand, then I pounded them by hand, then I melted butter and sugar and mixed it all together. I ended up with about 1 cup of peanut butter for all that labor. Oh but how delicious it is. I need to eat more protein since I don't buy meat here because its kinda scary looking and I don't know how to safely prepare it yet. Anyways, I'm extremely healthy and happy today and felt like sharing!

Sakafo Malagasy (Malagasy food)

Here is a little taste of the food I eat daily....

So, Malagasy people eat a lot of rice; actually of any culture in the world, they eat the most per capita, even more than in China!! They typically eat 1/2 kg of uncooked rice per person per day!! They eat rice three times a day, everyday. They usually have it with a sidedish called a "loaka" and sometimes a third salad type thing to put on rice called a "lasary". They eat all three meals with their family and get a 2-3 hour lunch break from school to go home and eat lunch. All of their food is made from fresh foods they get at the market everyday. There is even a verb that means "to go to the market". Most peoples daily small talk is about what kind of sidedish they will have with their rice. Will it be beans and pork? Or green beans and beef? Or water cress and peanuts, which is my absolute favorite!!! I rule at making it. The lasarys are either tomato, carrot, or cucumber.. and all are chopped up veggies with a vinegerette dressing. I absolutely love the tomato kind, and actually crave it now... along with rice. Most malagasy say that it is impossible to be full after a meal if rice was not served. So... after starting a charcol-ish fire.. actually its charbone.... wood that is burried and burned underground until the outside creates a charcol-ish looking outside.... and they put it on a brickish small fire burner that sits on the ground. This is always the first part of the cooking process.. except for me who is living the high life wtih a three burner countertop gas stove (no oven). Then the wife or daughther prepares the sidedish by cutting up meat, onions, garlic and cooking in a big metal pot. Then they clean and prepare the vegetables and add them to the cooked meat. While that finishes cooking, the rice needs to be prepared. First you add kapoakas, "cups", of rice to a flat saucer shaped thing made out of straw type material, called a sahafa. Then you shake it so you can pick out the hulls, rocks, and bad rice. Then you wash the rice in water and add it to a pot and cook it for 30 minutes. The rice is in one bowl, the loaka in another and the lasary in a third as they are set out on the table to eat. My host family, and most people I have met here, pray before dinner. After the rice is taken out of the pot, the pot is put back on the burner to burn the rice and water is added and boiled to make a drink called "ranomapango" which is literally burnt rice water. It is the only thing that typical malagasy people drink, EVER!! They don't drink during meals.. which was a hard thing to adjust to.. but they have reason for it because they drink this type of water because they know it is healthy drinking water since its been boiled. In my area of the country, there are tons of vegetables to buy... I LOVE going tot he market to pick out my loaka for the day. Tomatoes are plentiful here.. and cheap and delicious. I also have a lot of carrots, beans, zucchini, cucumbers, peas, green beans, cabbage, lettuce, eggplant, chick peas and many types of water cress. My area of the country is also famous for its fish. The fish here are huge.... and I've seen many a malagasy save the best part of the fish for last: the head. The only part of the fish they don't eat is the bones. They eat the skin, fins, eyes, head.... everythign but the scales and bones. It takes me FOREVER to pick out all of the bones, but the taste of the fish meat, once finally in my mouth is well worth the effort. There are also tons of peanuts here, bananas, mandarine oranges, pineapple, coconuts (out of this world tasty), potatoes, and the one french influence....loaves of bread. Baguettes to be exact. They are always stale... and there is no wheat bread, but I'll take what I can get. The little street food vendors sell a lot of deep fried foods. There are deep fried bananas, deep fried fish, deep fried potatoes and chives, deep fried doughnuts and even deepfried bread. You can also buy candied peanuts and shredded coconut on the street and sugar cane to suck on. You can also buy fresh milk in the market before 8am, which you have to boil before drinking... and small shops sell homemade yogurt, which is to die for. So tasty. The cheese, coming from a wisconsinite, leaves a lot to be desired and is the only thing I miss besides cold milk and cereal. I have been forced to learn how to cook and its been a painful yet fruitful experience. I am slowly learning to be fully independent and can't wait to go back to the states and use my new skills!!!

A week at site

Salama! Hello again all!

So, I'm sitting in an internet cafe in my town, Ambatondrazaka... you can call it Ambato for short, It is pronounced um-BAH-too. I have survived the first week here alone in this town in this crazy new country and am super glad that its over. It has been the longest week of my life.. and its so hard to put it all into words. Being dropped off alone in an empty house in a town where you know no one, being the only american.. and almost only white person.. and not being able to fully speak the language... well you can imagine how it was difficult. So.. I made an effort to leave my house as much as possible and talk to as many people as possible. I would walk into as many little shops as I could and chat it up with the owners and introduce myself and stumble through conversations in malagasy and buy one thing at each shop. It worked though.. I have met a lot of people. I will admit, there have been numerous times where I have wanted to leave.. and I keep thinking about how easy it would be to just be back in the US. But, then I met a strong group of friends here.. and it has been going a lot better the past few days. The people I have met have been extremely helpful and welcoming.. they have taught me how to cook dishes.. how to bargain for things in the market... where to get the best vegetables and rice.. where to find a carpenter to build shelves, a bed, and a table and chairs for me. I am slowly learning how to live like a malagasy person and it feels amazing. My house is slowly coming along.. I bought cloth for drapes and table clothes.. and built a clothes line outside my house. Today I washed all of my laundry by hand which took about 3 hours.. then dried them on the line! It really is starting to feel like a home! I can't wait til I get access to fast internet in the capital to send pics to you all. the internet here takes forever.. so you have to read a book while you wait for the pages to load.. and I'm not joking at all when I say that.

I started teaching on Tuesday and it was crazy. I have 8 classes of the level that would be the same as freshmen in the US. There are 65 students in each class... so you can do the math on how many papers and exams I"ll be grading!! There are so many students and not enough classrooms or teachers.. so I only meet with each class once a week for two hours. Its going to be very hard to teach them much, but I will do my best. Schools here are way different than in the US. First, the students have a schedule like colleges in the US have.. where they don't study the same thing every day. And, they don't leave their classroom.. the teachers rotate and the students are kind of like owners of the room. They are in charge of sweeping it and erasing boards every day. I have mondays and fridays off.. but my tuesdays wednesdays and thursdays I am teacher from 7am-12pm have a 2 hour lunch then teach again from 2-6pm. Its a hectic schedule.. especially considering there is no premade food here and I have to cook everythign from scratch, which usually takes about 2 hours to prepare and eat. I love my students though.. they are amazed by me and love to hear me speak english. They really want to learn how to speak.. and want to learn the meanings of the english songs they hear everyday here on the radio. So, imagine the classrooms here.. they are cement buildings with wooden windows.. small wooden desks... cracked and broken chalkboards that aren't really slate, but just painted black concrete, and then the students sit like four people to one desk, which should fit two people. thats all I have to work with.

I have met an amazing family here that have treated me like one of their own. The head of the teachers.. or Vice Principal, called the Proviseur Adjoint, has helped me with my house and other things as well and speaks English extremely well. His name is Gerry and he lived in England for a year.. so I can talk to him when anyone else is confusing or I'm frustrated with not understanding. He jokes all the time with me.. and I make him coffee everyday and he loves it. He has a daughter that is my new best friend here.. she is a year younger than me but way different than the other females her age here. She is the only one that does not have kids or isn't married yet.. because she studied at the university in Tana. Her name is Felana and she is also really good at English. I went to a cabaret with her last night and had so much fun. I am extremely lucky to have found their family. They have me over for dinner a lot and are always asking me how I am doing.

This is all I can think about for now.. but I will write again in the next week and explain more that has happened in the past few months. No matter how lonely I am.. I know all of you are out there to support me! This email is a good example of how crazy the ups and downs are here.. but this truly is an amazing country and I am happy I am here.

Goodbye trainee, hello PCV!

Hey everyone! I will change from trainee to volunteer soon! Thats right, TUESDAY AUGUST 28th, I will swear in as an official PEACE CORPS VOLUNTEER!!

I feel like I have been here for four years, and even if I went home now that I would be a changed person.

The language is amazing here.... I love using it and learning it. I hope to become fluent.

I am getting a puppy. Another PCV has a neighbor whose dog just had 9 puppies. In order to get the puppy from the owner.. it is tradition to first give the owner a knife in exchange. Don't ask me why. All I know is that soon, I shall have a puppy, and he shall have a knife.

I feel like anything and everything I do in the future will be easy compared to what I am overcoming right now.

I know that I am not profound here.. but I'm exhausted.. done with training... and extremely nervous to be dropped off at my new home in less than four days. I will ride in a peace corps vehicle to my site... they will help me buy a wooden bed, foam mattress, small table, chair.. and a gas camping stove. Then, they will leave and it will be me and my stuff... and it will be up to me to forge relationships wtih people in my community and find friends. I have been told a million times by numerous other volunteers.... the first three months suck. You WILL be lonely. You will cry.. You will write a million letters and get none from back home. You will read tons.. but FORCE yourself to go outside and use the little language you have to create relationships... and that is what I will have to do. The school year starts Sept 11 here... so after 10 days.. I will be busy with teaching, grading.. and the like.

Yesterday I met the Minister of Education, shook his hand, asked him some questions, then snacked on some creme puff ducks and Fanta (it was a weird spread as far as a governmental snack set up) Tuesday we go to the new US Ambassador's residence for the ceremony and it will be televised throughout the country on the major station. We're kind of a big deal... haha.. ok not really, but this is definitely getting super real!! I was in awe as the Minister told us how much he needed us here and all the things we could do to help his country. It really helps to understand the President and his cabinet's vision of the development of the country, and where we fit into it all.

Site announcement!

I hope you are all healthy and happy! I want you to know that I think of you all daily, but that I am healthy and love it here. I just finished my first week of practice teaching. We are still in training, and still living in our training town. I have 2 more weeks of practice teaching and then I get to visit my site for a week! I’m really excited. Right now I am teaching all different levels of students, from ages 11 – 20, at a summer camp-like English school. It is winter here, but it is the “grand vacation” for the students, so like our summer in the US . I teach either a 2 hour or a 1 hour lesson everyday, and it takes tons of time to plan a lesson. I have been able to transition from teaching Social Studies to teaching English. We are observed everyday by our trainers, who are Peace Corps Volunteers who have taught here for a year already and they give us feedback on our lessons and teaching. So far, I have had positive reviews which feel good to know I am capable at this job. It builds confidence for when I leave this group of people and am on my own. My days are extremely busy lately because of practicum. I wake up at 5:00am , teach from 8 – 10, have class from 11 – 12:30, then lunch, and then Malagasy language class from 2 – 5pm . Then I go home, eat dinner/help prepare dinner and plan lessons from 7 – 9. I go to sleep very easily J at 9:00pm . Anyways, back to my site. Our swearing in day is scheduled for August 28^th. If we pass our language test and are qualified as teachers, we are sworn in as PC Volunteers that day! Wahoo!! My site is a big town called Ambatondrazaka. It is 260 Kilometers from Tana and northeast of Tana as well. It has 70,000 people in it, which is very large for a Peace Corps site. I have the second biggest site of our training group. It is located on the edge of the biggest lake in Madagascar , Lake Alaotra . I will live in a house on the grounds of the Lycee (or High School). My house had 2 rooms, running water, electricity, a simple shower, and a flush toilet! I will be living in luxury compared to my host family’s house! A flush toilet is almost unheard of here for Peace Corps Volunteers! I lucked out! Also, my city has cell phone reception, and internet cafes! Most other sites have to take a taxi-brousse hours or even days away to have internet access! Again, I lucked out! So, please do not email me until the second week of September, because I will not have internet access until then. Right now my dad is typing up this letter I mailed to you all and emailing it to you. So please wait until Sept. to email me. But, I would love to get hand written letters until then! I can still get all of the letters addressed to me at the address I gave you even after I move to my site, so don’t worry about it no getting here in time. They go to the Peace Corps office and they send them to me. At my site I will teach at the high school. The city is just off the plateau, so has seasons and doesn’t get uncomfortably hot, which his good. My city has large rolling-hills, forests, terraces of rice fields, the lake and the largest rice growing and harvesting industry in the country. There has not been a volunteer there for 10 years, so it will be weird. If you are white or a foreigner here, they call you a “Vazaha”, even when walking down the street. I think it’s the 3^rd word they learn after mom and dad, because even infants yell it out at us! I didn’t have much space to write a lot about here, but once I get to site in September, I will update you all and write on my blog as often as possible (Depending on how much internet costs.) I will add pictures too! I can’t wait to show you all my life, and Madagascar ! It is a beautiful country, with hospitable kind generous and loving people!

Turning of the Bones

Today was a crazy day. I woke up at 5am to leave for Ivato near the airport with my host family. We left in a pickup truck with a wooden frame attached to the back truckbed and a tarp cover. We all sat in the back of the truck for an hour long ride going over crazy bumps, and inhaling tons of black exhaust. My host sisters cousin and her infant sibling both puked. Twice each. Yes, I said infant. The first time she puked in a hat.. the second off the back of the truck. After driving 45 mins we stopped to pick up 15 more family members while the grandma peed on the side of the road. Now on our way, we had 6 new babies on board.. and 25 poeple total in the back of the truck. Picture people sitting on each other, with women breast feeding their babies while going over huge bumps and dips on a horrible secondary road. When we finally arrived to our destination I was extremely surprised I hadn't puked myself. We were headed to a famadihana, which is a turning of the bones ceremony here in the highlands of Madagascar. We walked up to the extended family's house and were hurried into a dining room wtih a super long table and seated. Each family introduced themselves to remind them all of who they were.. since there are SO many relatives here. Think Christmas on my mom's side of the family... times 4. I was introduced with my family and everyone was eager to greet me, and some children were scared I was going to eat them... seriously. Some poeple here tell their kids that white people will eat them if they don't behave. I haven't been that hungry yet though. KIDDING! So, we were served a huge mound of rice each person and then a laddle of broth and chunks of beef, which were mostly peices of fat. They love to eat the fat here.. its crazy. So they slaughter tons of cows or pigs for these events and then cook it in oil and its the traditional meal. So everyone ate and went outside to watch the start of the band. THe band consisited of a male ensemble of trumpets, clarinets, and drum players. They played songs while people danced around a table that had a white cloth on it. Two pictures of people were sitting on the table to honor the ancestors they were having the famadihana for. So for about three hours we sat and watched poeple dance around the box while holding up the pics and new cloth they had bought for the ancestors. When one of the alive relatives dreams about an ancestor who tells them they are cold, they throw this huge party to bring them cloth to warm them up. Finally they decided to walk to the tomb.. and a parade like procession danced the entire way there. The music was still played once at the tomb and after a short speech, the males started digging for the entrance of the tomb. Once opened.. they took out the bodies of the ancestors, one by one. You could see the hair and outline of the bones through the old cloth. A group of people would be singing and dancing as they started to rewrap the bodies in their new cloth. I decided not too get too close, and actually was pretty freaked out.. and amazed at the same time. After they were tightly wrapped.. they put them on their shoulders and danced around the tomb 6 times for good luck. Then they brought them back into the tomb and said their wishes to them. This entire thing lasted about 6 hours. It was definitely a surreal experience.. and I am extremely fortunate to have experienced it. The entire day was filled with happiness and joy.. no sorrow... and all of the elderly relatives were even up and dancing!! This is practiced mainly on the highlands and costs the host family a lot of money to host. Each family that comes has to bring a gift of money to help buy cloths and pay for the food. It is an opportunity to ask ancestors for advice about living peoples lives and to see relatives that live far away. It is a large part of the Merina tribe's tradiation.

A journal entry

I currently sit in my bed with a candle lit on my table because the electicity has gone out for the second time now. It's actually quite romantical and it makes my fort-like room feel even more magical. My wooden walls and ceiling are shadowed with speckled light from within my mosquito net and I wish i could stay like this forever. Speaking of magic, I saw a rainbow today and I was able to see the beginning and end of it. It was amazing! I have also enjoyed the amazing portraits drawn across the sky every evening as the sun sets. The pink, orange and purples are vivid and dance as they reflect of off the clouds and rice paddies. I have been amazingly happy here, despite how much I want to go home. I just have to keep in mind how this experience is making me love my family and friends more than ever. I miss them so much that its even hard to describe in words. I have already missed my friend giving birth, my friend get engaged, and will miss the birth of my first neice or nephew and the first year of its life. Its hard to handle. but then I wake up some days and say... Holy crap, I'm in Madagascar. I'm living alone in a country across the world, speaking another language... learning how to cook for myself... wash clothes.. and I'm surviving. Its all a huge thing to accomplish, and all of the emails and letters from back home help to reassure me of that. This is amazing and I feel like I will be able to do anything and everything I ever would want to when I get back to the US. I can't believe I couldn't even call people on the phone without being scared. Life is new and exciting and challenging everyday here.. I just hope that some people can come and experience this with me so I can show them whats its like to live here since its so hard to explain.

Daily training life

Hello everyone! It is 9:00p.m. and 1:00 p.m. in WI. I am sitting in my foam mattress bed with mosquito net surrounding me, and it feels like a sweet fort I built when I was little. I just finished washing the dishes! I asked and they finally said I could! The past two nights they just said, “Night" and I went upstairs to my room. But tonight they let me help. They gave me an apron and I washed the dishes with a sponge which is actually a cut piece of foam, and rubbed it on a piece of soap for dish soap. Then, in a bucket of cold water I washed the dishes and my sister Ando, pronounced (Ahn-doo) rinsed the dishes and set them out to dry. I had an awesome dinner w/ the family because I can finally speak in sentences. It’s amazing how fast I have learned Malagasy, and it feels SO comforting. The family and I talked about what the Dad does for work, which is basically a construction worker who drives the big machines that dig up dirt. I can’t remember the name in English! The Mom owns a little shop here at the house. Each morning, I wake up at 6:00 a.m. and go downstairs with my bucket and scoop and get hot water from my host Mom, which is half boiled and half cold water and walk outside to the Ladosy (Lah-doo-see) or outdoor shower that is just a wood structure w/ a door and cement like floor. I use the scoop to take a shower from the bucket. Then I dry off, go upstairs, get dressed and go downstairs for breakfast. My Mother makes me coffee w/ sugar and sweetened condensed milk. I usually have bread w/ butter and some sort of honey mixed with sugar or jam that is delicious. Then I brush my teeth out on the porch, spitting off the balcony, because that’s how they do it here! Then I walk to class w/ other volunteers. I come back home for lunch w/ the family, then back to class until 5:00 , then back to the host family for dinner and playing hacky-sack w/ the male boys, Ravo (Rah-voo) and taratra (Tahrahtrah). Then it’s up to my room where I write in my journal, study, brush my teeth and spit it in my Po.. The Malagasy do not go to the outhouse at night because witches come out at night, no joke. I pee in a bucket in my room every night, and dump it in the outhouse in the morning. Then I fall asleep around 9:30 or 10:00 and start the whole thing over the next day! Next weekend we get to go to Tana, the capital, for the 1st time, so I mght have internet access! Exciting! I hope you all know that I am loving it here. A lot of volunteers are having trouble w/ the language and being homesick, but I haven’t felt sad for even one second here! My host family is so nice and caring and make me feel like family. It is amazing to speak to them after two days of awkward small talk, because of the language barrier. Next week is Independence Day here, and I will celebrate w/ the family by dancing and seeing fireworks! I learned all of that out of our dinner conversation tonight!

First few days in Madagascar

So, I landed safely in Tana after being in South Africa for a night. We were met by a group of current PCV's at the airport, so we had a warm welcome! Then we packed into a van and drove about 2 hours to the town I am training in called Manjakandriana. Its in a higher elevation, so its a little chilly.. probably feels like 50 degrees or so. Its an amazing sight though.. there are so many hills/levels of housing. Its hard to explain. So, last night we had a crash course on Malagasy, learning about 6 words, and then were taken to our host family's. My family is SO NICE! The mother= neni, pronounced nay-knee, is about 42 and owns a little store out of her house. The father=dada, pronounced dah-dah, is 41 and works as a construction worker. They have three children. Ravo, an 18 yr old boy, Ando, a 16 yr old girl, and an 8 yr old named Taratra. They are all so friendly, and really excited to use the few years of English they have learned in school to talk to me. I was shown my room, which is a little attic room, with wood ceiling and floors and like a cement like walls. It had a bed, with a foam mattress, pillow, 2 chairs, 2 tables, a chest, and a water filter. I also received blankets, which helped since it was a little chilly last night, but I LOVED it. Perfect sleeping weather for a Wisconsinite. I also have a bucket in my room to use for a shower, which I take outside. Then I have my new best friend, called a Po, pronounced with a long O. This is where I go to the bathroom after dark. People here don't go outside to the outhouse at night. Its just weird. So, I christened it last night! I woke up and had to pee so bad, and of course sat there a while and was like.. I don't want to wake anyone with the loud noise of peeing in the middle of the night. But, I then realized I had 6 more hours to sleep so I did it, and it was fine. All I know is that my leg muscles are going to be so buff after this! So, last night after the tour, I showed my family all of the pictures of my family, home and friends, which they loved! They especially enjoyed the christmas photo of my crazy family! Then, after a lot of awkward laughing because I didn't understand.. and constant searching through my malagasy dictionary.. we sat down for dinner. On this old table we all sat and ate rice, and a soup with broth, carrots, potatoes, onions, and green beans. It was delicious. Then we had bananas for desert and I had tea, which was actually just the water that the burnt rice was boiled in, they drink it as tea after their meal. It was fine. Then, I said I was tired, said thank you and headed upstairs. My family has sporadic electricity, so I heard a tv going and dogs barking and pigeons while I was falling asleep. I went to sleep at 8 and woke up at midnight, wide awake. I tossed and turned and finally fell back asleep and woke up when a rooster crowed about 5 am. I woke up, ate pancakes for breakfast, with a jam, and butter, and coffee.. with sugar and powdered milk. It was amazing! Then, I walked to town with my Neni, and to the peace corps training center. So, anyways.. life is amazing right now. I have seen so much poverty, that its taking some time to deal with. I can't even explain what its like. Words will not do justice. I will show pics when I return. But, the landscape is amazing... rolling hills with rice fields everywhere.. and markets everywhere.. and people everywhere. Right now, I'm just attempting to learn some language so I can stop laughing when I dont' know how to explain things to my family. Just wanted to let you all know that I am healthy, well, and happy!

Is this really happening?

It has just occured to me that I leave in exactly 1 month. This is getting real, and I love it. All I can think is, "Finally!" I have thought about my departure for so long. I have been out of college for a year now, but it seems like 3. Even though I have absolutely loved living with the Silber's this past year, I have also had a nagging thought in the back of my mind, wondering when I would get to start the rest of my life. Graduating from college had been an exciting life change, especially after my trip to Italywith Megan. But soon after, the excitement dulled down and became life without a future in sight. That scared me, and pushed me to focus on the Peace Corps process. I have been driven to do this, and have not been able to visualize my life without it. I feel like I have been slowly moving away from being dependent on people... especially my friends. I don't talk to anyone everyday.. I don't have a constant in my life. But for now, thats a good thing, because I won't miss that constant once I'm gone. I am actually surprised at how much I have adapted to this, since I used to be so attached to people and needy of others to make me feel happy. Now, I could go without seeing people, and not even be phased. I am completely ready to move on with my life right now. I was so scared that I would be stuck in a place where I couldn't see change or improvement.. and I have finally moved on from this. I can see where my future is headed, and it feels great. Its amazing how suffocatingly scary it is to not be progressing in my life. I know that I will never be able to settle in my life, its just not for me. I want to travel the world, and constantly improve myself. I think that my obsession with this goal has allowed me to actually be successful with it. Dream it, in order to be it? I guess I see some validity in that statement now. If I had doubted my abilities or desire to do this at all, I probably wouldn't have accomplished it. Its good to dream.. but even greater when they come true. A lot of people ask me why I want to do this, but I know that if they even have to ask that question, it will be hard for them to understand my reasonings. Its a difference in the way we see life. I want to live my life constantly progressing... learning as much as possible, experiencing as many culutures as possible, seeing as many places in the world as possible, meeting as many people as possible, being exposed to as many ways of living as possible. All of this is surpassed only by my belief that I need to give as much of myself as physically and mentallly possible to help others. Thats how I see life. Thats how I see my role in this world. Its hard for me to understand any other way to live.. but then again, its hard for others to understand the way I want to live. I have come to realize that I will surround myself with those who believe in my way to live life, and it makes sense. Having the same outlook of life creates a deep connection between people. Its just so easier when someone can truly understand you.

Anyways, my obsession with the travel channel can now end. I can stop living vicarilously through other peoples adventures, and start living my own. It's time. Take a deep breath. Here comes an experience of a lifetime.. with hopefully more to follow.

Formal Invitation!

Hello everyone! Here are the details I know so far.

Staging: I will spend about three days in Washington, DC for orientation with the PC.

Training: From June-August I will live just outside of Antananarivo with a host family. I will go through language, skills, cultural, and health training during this time.

Volunteering: If I survive those three months, I will be sworn in as an official Peace Corps Volunteer. I will then be assigned to some other location in the country. Once there, I will be teaching English to middle and high school-aged children. I will also take on a secondary project, which is yet to be determined.

I LEAVE JUNE 13th!

Medically Cleared!!

So, I am surprisingly medically cleared as of Friday, March 9th! Surprised that it took this short of time, not that I'm cleared. The only follow up I needed was a Polio Booster and a Tetanus Booster. I drove up to chippewa to get them from my doctor because no one in madison would give me them without a doctors visit first.

So the placement officer emailed me on Tuesday, which I thought was amazingly fast considering all of the waiting horror stories I've heard. He asked me about the french requirement I had to fulfill and I explained the whole non-credit course I was taking. He asked for a letter from my professor as proof. So I emailed her and am waiting to hear back from my placement officer, which probably won't be until next week considering its Friday.

Its weird that after only a day of being completely excited about being medically cleared, I am back to being frustrated about not knowing exactly when, where and if I'm leaving. I check my email every half-hour, which is probably certifiably obessive. I also always have my phone by me and am ready to get the mail when it comes. The worst part is that I am avoiding my friends and family.. in person and via phone... until I get an invitation because its annoying telling everyone that its all unknown. I don't care where I go or what I do there, I just want an invitation!! If I tell myself that I probably won't get an invitation until April, it helps to keep my mind off of it. So that is what I shall try to do......